A Mother's Hands -- a poem by grandson, Blake Jenkins / and Obituary

             A MOTHER’S HANDS

Her hands were soft and were quite warm,

they’d hold onto you through the darkest storm.

They’d lift you up and make you smile,

it was a gift to hold them just for awhile.

Her hands would do so very much

to bless all those who they could touch.

They’d serve her own with a heart of a Mother

and help a stranger like he was a brother.

Yet though they’re soft, believe it or not,

at the end of her finger was one small tough spot.

For though these hands were truly soft,

they often worked with a needle and cloth.

Over the years her hands would form

so many quilts that her finger was worn.

A quilt requires some needle and string

and many will help to finish the thing.

The beauty is that more than one

can look at the quilt and say “it’s done”.

But a quilt is not alone in that

more than one helped finish the act.

For a family also is like a quilt

though one comes from sewing, another is built.

One comes from needles, the other from love.

One is mere cloth, one’s like something in Heaven above.

But a quilt starts off simple, and a family too.

It’s a simple thing, it starts with “I do”.

But soon it grows to so much more

than all the dreams those two could store.

So it was with Margaret Dick, who loved one John and that was it.

But this was the morning, and before the sunset

came Bob, Judi, Roger, and Sharon Lynette.

A quilt and a family use more hands than one

and many will sew before all is done.

And as this quilt continues to grow

each hand is needed, yet we all know

that one pair of hands has done so much

to work on this quilt, make it soft to the touch.

She sewed the quilt with a grand design,

to follow God’s will was her plan in mind.

Now she has sewn for so many years

through many joys and a fair share of tears.

Her hands have worked by help from above,

not with thread from a needle, but with a Mother’s love.

We will never forget what her hands have done,

so much has been sewn by just this one.

                                                     By Blake Jenkins

                                                     Grandson

                                                     2-17-11

Funeral services for Margaret Flaming, 87, Corn resident will be 10:00 am Monday, February 21st at the Corn Mennonite Brethren Church, officiated by Pastor Tim Sandy with burial following at the Corn Cemetery under the direction of the Kiesau-Lee Funeral Home.

Margaret Flaming was born February 12, 1924 to C.H. and Anna Dick in Corn, OK and passed away Thursday, February 17, 2011 surrounded by her loving family.

Margaret was raised west of Corn and graduated from Corn Bible Academy in 1942. She married John H. Flaming on April 14, 1946 in Corn. She attended Tabor College in Hillsboro, KS. She faithfully served with her husband as he ministered in Ulysses, KS; Fresno, CA; Cordell, OK; Adams, OK; Okeene, OK and Corn, OK where they retired. Margaret was an active member of the Corn Mennonite Brethren Church where she enjoyed teaching Sunday School, singing in the Senior Choir, and quilting with the Women's Missionary Society.

She stayed at home to raise her family and then worked at the Corn Heritage Village. She loved spending time with her family, reading, and quilting. She had a deep desire to grow spiritually through Bible Study and prayer.

Margaret was preceded in death by her parents, husband, and a brother, Wesley Dick.

She is survived by two daughters, Judi Harms and Sharon Jenkins both of Weatherford; two sons, Robert Flaming of Houston, TX and J. Roger Flaming of Lahoma, OK and three sisters, Linda Stobbe, Orpa Epp, and Marlene Pauls of Corn. She is also survived by six grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and lots of other relatives, church family, and friends. The family has suggested that those wishing to give memorials may do so to Corn Bible Academy.

Status: Totally healed------- In Loving Memory

Mom is totally healed.  She graduated to her eternal life today at about 4:30 P.M.     We will miss her greatly but we are comforted knowing she is in heaven tonite.

For those of you following my weekly updates, I thank you for your concerns and your prayers during this chapter in Mom's life.   This week had started out a little bit better that last week.   She overcame the flu and seemed a little stronger.   On Monday she had a great visit with her sisters Orpa, Linda, and Marlene.   Ruth (sister-in-law) and Edgar (Marlene's husband were also there.  It was time for physical therapy so all went to watch Mom go through the routine.   She so enjoyed everyone being there and we now know it was a visit that was meant to be. 

Yesterday, Sharon took her to Clinton for a swallow study which went quite well.   We were hoping it would lead to Mom being able to eat again.  Even this morning, Sharon was there during the physical therapy session.  Mom walked with assistance and tried so hard to work with the therapist.   After PT, she was totally worn out and ready to go back to bed.  

Sharon was there at lunch time and went back to work thinking everything was going pretty good.  Within an hour, she was called by the nursing home and informed that mom and suddenly taken a turn for the worse.   Both Judi and Sharon rushed to be by mom and stayed with her.   Mom was totally consious until about 5 minutes before she took her last breath.   She recognized workers as they attended to her in her final moments.  

Sharon shared this with me.  One of the last things she noticed was Mom's eyes suddenly went wide open and she was looking like she was seeing something.  Sharon asked "Mom, do you see an angel?"
Mom said "yes".  Sharon told her that was the special angel that was sent to take her to heaven.  Within a few minutes, Mom's breathing became very shallow and she quitely slipped away. 

Funeral arrangements are pending at this time.   I will post when we finalize.

Celebrating 87 years today. Happy Birthday!!

Sharon and Judi brought mom some balloons to celebrate her 87th birthday.  She said she really did appreciate them.  I talked to her today and she responded quite well and was able to communicate but tired very soon into the conversation.  She was also able to have a phone conversation with her granddaugther, Jenni (Judi and Daves daughter) who shares the same birthday.   Marci,(granddaughter) and Doug and Jill (great grandchildren) were also able to speak with her on the phone earlier in the day.  I know Brent  (grandson) and Kristen vistited her and I'm sure there were other visits and conversations as well of which I am not aware.   I think all in all, mom had a good day.

However, this was a pretty tough week for mom   I wish I had a better report of the events. Mom felt really sick at the first part of the week.  Judi and Sharon finally took her to the ER and tests were run.  They informed us that mom was sick with the flu.  Her immune system  is weak and so she is more apt to catch viruses  and infections.   She had just been fighting a UTI and then this came up in addition.  She was so weak that PT was not an option for several days.  With the help of medication, she is doing a little better now and we pray she will be able to be strong enough for the swallow study which is scheduled for next Wednesday.

As everyone knows, the weather was brutal in the Weatherford area and much of the United States.  Infections and viruses become more of an issue. Also, it made it a little more of a challenge for Judi and Sharon to give mom the level of attention and care they strive for.   The staff at Corn Heritage Village works hard to give good care but we all know there is no substitute for the care and attention given by loving family members.   Judi and Sharon braved extreme cold and icy conditions to visit and monitor mom this week.   Fortunately, the forecast for next week is much better.

Week ending Feb 5

Had a few "bumps" in the road this week.  Mom had a tough time overcoming another UTI.  Seems like these keep happening occasionally and when they do, it takes a toll on her.   On Wednesday, she was running a temp and looking pale.    By Saturday, her temperature went down but she was still pale and very week.   Her pulse was racing.   Later in the day, she improved some and her color was better.   Judi and I commented that it sometimes feels like we take 2 steps forward and 1 step back.  Fortunately, she has bounced back again but remains a little weak and wants to sleep a lot.  

At least Mom is aware of what is happening in the community.   She and her sisters had been working on a quilt as they often do.  She had done her work on this particular quilt prior to the 11th of November when she suffered her stroke.   She  and her sisters have had a quilt at the CBA benefit auction each year for quite a number of years now.  Their quilts are hand stitched rather than machine stitched.  Hand stitched quilts will sell for more at an auction.   CBA is Corn Bible Academy.  The school was founded in 1902 which was before Oklahoma became a state.  Various means of raising funds are incorporated to help keep tuition costs affordable and to be able to maintain and improve the equiptment and facilities.  This auction is very helpful in that respect.  Mom and her sisters all graduated there.  The same for my dad, many of my aunts, uncles, cousins  my sisters and myself.   Pictured here is the quilt mom and her sisters made to help the school this year.  She told Judi that she prayed it would do well in the auction.   It was auctioned for $2,400.00.  Mom as well as everyone else who participated in the auction  is very generous in giving of thier time and talents for the benefit of the school. 

Besides auctioning quilts, etc., there are many donated items that are auctioned also.  Then there is the German Feast.   A meal that is so good people travel for miles and they do sell a lot of food.   They also sell German breads, pastries, sausage that are made for this benefit. If interested, a lot of photos of this event are posted on facebook the "corn oklahoma " page or you can browse from the picture on my FB wall page.

Status for week of 1/29/2011

My siblings and I agree that Mom had a pretty good week by comparison.  Some progress is evident.  I have been encouraged by the fact that on several occasions she has been off the oxygen for a while and her oxygen levels have stayed good.   This is an improvement.  When I talked to her on Saturday, she sounded better than I have heard since the event of her stroke in November.   She sounded more like herself again.  Good voice inflection, minimal slurring, and it was more of a conversation again instead of her just answering questions.   She asked me a few and that was good to hear.

She is getting out of bed and spending time in the lobby.  Of course, she has to be helped and taken in either a geri chair or a wheel chair.  So glad the weather has been favorable for her to be outside some.   That might not be possible for the next few days.  A brutal winter storm with extreme cold temperatures is in the forecast.

A note from Sharon:

I  asked Mom if she was getting tired in lobby and she said no, just 
having a merry time!  She has come to the lobby 2 times today in a geri 
chair which is like a recliner on  wheels. She never wants to be a 
bother, but I insist we go and she likes it.  Mom went outside  in a wheel chair 
without oxygen and levels stayed good!

A note from Judi:

I've been at the nursing home at 8;00 each morning this week while mom 
does her PT. Each time I see improvement and am encouraged. The 
electictrity was off over most of W'ford this afternoon for almost 2 
hours. Sharon was concerned about moms oxygen so she went to check on 
her. Her oxygen level was 93 after being without for that long. That 
was good. We are going to keep watching her and maybe soon she can go 
without during the day. Orpa and Linda came to see her today. She 
enjoyed their visit.


Specifiic prayer requests:
1.  Swallow study likely this week.  We would love to see Mom able to swallow food and eat normally again.  

2.  Continuing improvement in strength.   We are thankful for the progress and continue to pray for more.

General thanks and support for all who are caring for mom.  Especially Judi and Sharon who are faithful and dedicated to making sure mom gets the best care possible.   They're the  best daughters a mother could ask for.  They are there daily in addition to keeping up with their jobs and careers. 

Margaret Flaming status for week ending 1/22

                                          Mom's last night in the hospital.   Judi and Sharon are

                                          always there to help.  Photo taken 1/19/2011.

Mom was discharged from the hospital and moved back to the Corn Heritage Village in Weatherford this week.  (CHVW)   The main issues that caused her to be admitted in December have been corrected.  Listed below are some text communications between Judi, Sharon and I this past week.  This will show a little of how the week went.  

From Judi:   Jan 16

Mom was more alert today but voice was weak. She was funny said "she 

needed a kick in the pants".
My response:

Mom has kept her sense of humor!!

From Sharon:  Jan 21

Dr  said no feeding 24 Hrs for distension, then  2 a day. Swallow 

study nxt wk!  Pray, pray!

My response:

We will pray!  It would be so wonderful if  Mom could eat and swallow again. 

From Sharon:  Jan 22

Mom seems happy &  content to be back at CHVW. She is so thankful  for 

everything - a real example to me!  The therapist told her to get her 
walking shoes on. She said she will do her best. She is so concerned 
about the workers, she doesn't want to be any trouble and prays for 
them.
My response:  Mom continues to be an example with her attitude, and her genuine concern for people.

From Sharon  today.
Mom said yesterday in lobby she watched  someone drink chocolate milk 
and that was tough. Broke my heart.  Coughing more today. She is sleepy.
Makes me realize all of the little things we often take for granted.
 

The time Mom spent in the hospital was good for her because she was able to recover from pneumonia and a UTI.   The down side was that she got very weak from the lack of Physical Therapy.  We are so thankful that she can communicate and remains alert.   We are hopeful that the swallow study will go well.  This is an item of prayer and concern.   Also the distension issue seems to be a constant battle.  Several different formulas have been tried.  I would hope that being able to eat normally would correct the problem.  

I will update again next weekend or sooner if any significant changes occur.





Margaret Flaming heath status

I am starting this blog to keep information up to date for family and friends about the health status of my mother, Margaret Flaming.    I will try to keep weekly postings or whenever anything of significance changes in her road to recovery.

 The picture on the left is Mom and I the last time she vistied our home in Houston.  The picture on the right is more current and her sister, Orpa is in the background.                                                   

For any that do not already know, my mother suffered a significant stroke on November 11, 2010.  She  was found by her sisters about noon laying on the floor of her home in Corn, Oklahoma.   We do not know exactly how long it was from the time of the incident till she was found but we expect it was at least 6 hours.   She was rushed to Weatherford and was then medi-flighted to Oklahoma City.   She displayed paralysis in her left leg and left arm.  She was also unable to swallow.   After about a week, she showed signs of improvement enough that she was released from ICU and transferred to a rehab center in Clinton, OK. 

She spent several weeks in Clinton and showed some encouraging signs of progress.   Some movement in her left arm and her speech became much more understandable.   Still was unable to swallow and a peg was installed in her stomach for feeding.  It became necessary for her to leave the rehab center and arrangements were made to move her to the Corn Heritage Village in Weatherford.   After a few weeks, she developed pneumnia and had to be admitted to the Weatherford hospital where she remains as of this posting.

 The pneumonia really set her back in her progress because the Physical Therapy sessions could not be given and her strength deteriorated some.  Pneumonia is no longer an issue but she has had some complications with the formula they are feeding her.  The doctors as of today have changed the formula solution  to a higher calorie.   We hope this will agree with her and help to restore her strength.  The doctors are trying to restart the Physical Therapy sessions and she has been getting into a chair some during the day. 

The doctors have always given us an encouraging prognosis.   They think her ability to swallow will return and that there is a good possibility that she will walk again.   I will admit that the last few weeks have caused concern for myself and I am realizing that the road to recovery will probably be longer than I at first anticipated.  

Fortunately, my two sisters, Judi and Sharon, live close by, actually within minutes of getting to her at any time.  They have been incredibly faithful in attending to Mom's every need.   They visit her at least once a day and make sure that she is getting the best care possible.  Sharon is longing to have Mom come to live in her house as soon as her health improves to that point. She is even preparing a special room for her.   We don't know now if that can become a reality, but it is a goal that both Sharon and Mom would like to see happen.  Sharon's ambition to do this is a true demonstration of compassion and love.

Any of you who have known Mom for any length of time, know she is a very patient person with a sweet spirit and a great attitude.   This has remained constant throughout her current illness.   She continues to be a great example to all she is in contact with.

We continue to pray for her recovery and that progress will continue.   Your prayers in her behalf are appreciated.

To be continued.........